2 Corinthians 9:7 (New International Version)
7 Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.
Utilizing what I have learned through this last event I am now implementing the following boundary exercise which protects me from my compulsive urge to accept a commitment without having applied the Word of Wisdom first.
Before I say "yes" I must ask/state the following:
1. I need more information before I can commit. (See questions I need to ask the person who is requesting my assistance)
2. I cannot give you a "yes" or "no" until this time tomorrow. Is that ok? If not I am sorry I will have to decline.(If yes see questions I need to ask myself before I can say yes to this commitment)
Questions I need to ask of those requesting my assistance:
1. When is it?
2. Where is it?
3. Under whose leadership?
4. Has this event and some structure for detail been approved by Leadership?
5. What is the specific goal/focus/objective of this event?
6. Is there an anticipted budget set for the time and financial commitment expected from me for this event?
7. What role are you asking me to take on here?
a. Lead--entire event is at my discretion
b. co-lead--entire event is planned under the discretion of several
c. lead a specific portion of the task--event is lead under the discretion of another but this portion is managed by me)
d. helping hands- -I am a set of hands that facilitate effort...I show up for the event with a specific task assigned to me.
Questions I need to ask myself before I say "yes"
1. Does the time frame allowed for the task work for my lifestyle?
2. Does the place of the event require additional time/difficulty to get to and from the event and it's planning/participation?
3. Can I submit fully to the discretion of those leading this event, knowing my ideas and preferences though considered may not be used for this task/event?
4. Has the person asking me to assist secured specific parameters such as times, places, and budget from the church Leadership?
5. Does the person asking me to assist have some definitive structure in place for the event/task? Can they share with me a specific goal/focus/objective for this event?
6. Is there a pretty clear understanding as to how much time and/or finances I am being asked to contribute?
7. Do I understand clearly the role I am being asked to play for this event/task?
I know this will feel funny at first as I begin to implement it but it will become "wax on" wax-off" with practice! This is meant to slow down my compulsion to say yes. This is a character flaw in me and becomes a working out of my salvation with fear and trembling. I understand that not everyone will be pleased with this approach and may use it as a reason to avoid asking anything of me but that is not within my control. I understand fully that all i have control over is myself. If I identify my shortcomings I have done only half of what is necessary. The other half is to apply the word of God to those shortcomings and walk it out, strengthened by it!
I am a strong and mature Christian. I do not sit on my laurels and do nothing. I am generous to my own hurt and do so willingly but no longer compulsively,praise God,for where there is compulsion or duress from my inability to say "no" there I will find resentment spring up like a weed, choking the efforts of generosity.
Blessings on you faithful Servants of Jesus Christ!
